4 Poems for Wide-Ranging Family Dynamics
There’s a reason so many TV episodes, movies, books, and – of course – poems are set during or around the holidays. Storytelling thrives on complicated dynamics and emotions, and the holidays pack plenty of nuance. Maybe you have a relative who’s well-known for not being able to keep a secret, bubbling tension with your in-laws, or you’re already anticipating parental criticism. Maybe this year you’re dealing with the heaviness of grief as you sit down at the table, or have felt the conflicting joy and sorrow of distancing yourself from an unsupportive family and forming your own thriving, chosen family. Whatever you’re dealing with, know you can always lean on poetry—including these poems that showcase family in all its unexpectedness and messiness.
1. “I Cook Thanksgiving Dinner With My Dead Mother” by Diane K. Martin
Poem excerpt:
“…Mom made a point
of reminding me that she set out a half grapefruit for my appetizer,
because I’m allergic to shrimp. We didn’t mention her bad heart—or mine.
We just chopped, boiled, simmered, stewed, sliced, roasted, and sautéed
in butter, and then twisted the turkey wing and tucked it under the body
of the bird, even though it meant breaking the bones a little bit to do it.”
Where better to set a poem about family than in the homey, multi-sensory nostalgia of a kitchen? Poet Diane K. Martin, aNational Poetry Series finalist, grounds this mother-daughter piece in this familiar imagery, using the annual tradition of holiday cooking as a method for reminiscing and traveling through time. “Breaking the bones a little bit” being a necessary part of Thanksgiving meal prep hints at the pain and discomfort always lying under the surface of this relationship, yet the thoughtfulness of the half grapefruit and the warm, connective verbs within the poem shows the enduring power of togetherness.
2. “There Are Two Magics” by Rachel Zucker
Poem excerpt:
“he said describing the fantasy novel he was reading
as they walked the drizzled streets she was listening
& laughing & realized she’d been walking through one city
or another next to this man for more than twenty years
longer of course than their kids were old
their smart alecky sons who hadn’t yet met the person
with whom they might walk through rain discussing
ridiculous books with great sincerity & pleasure”
Confessional poet Rachel Zucker is known for writing vulnerable poems about marriage and motherhood. In “There Are Two Magics,” an offhand conversation between the speaker and her husband becomes a vantage point through which to see all of the twists, turns, and turbulence of their relationship—including fighting, becoming parents, and still finding tenderness and affection in the midst of strife. “There Are Two Magics” reads as a mature love poem, one you might relate to if the honeymoon phase has long dissipated and you now find yourself living in the evolving comfort of a long-standing partnership.
3. “Translation for Mamá” by Richard Blanco
“I’ve transcribed all your old letters into poems
that reconcile your exile from Cuba, but always
in English. I’ve given you back the guajiro roads
you left behind, stretched them into sentences
punctuated with palms, but only in English.
…I have recreated the pueblecito you had to forget,
forced your green mountains up again, grown
valleys of sugarcane, stars for you in English.”
In “Translation for Mamá,” Richard Blanco reflects on being multilingual and multicultural, considering how that impacts his relationship with his mother. The speaker of the poem finds pride in what he’s accomplished and how he’s depicted his mother’s dreams and experiences through language but seems to feel unsettled at how he hasn’t done this work in his mother’s first language. Blanco alternates between English and Spanish beautifully and fluidly throughout this work, giving voice to cultural connection, diaspora, and the power of lineage. If you’re coming home to a multilingual home this holiday season, you might be able to relate.
4. “Duet” by Lisa Russ Spaar
Poem excerpt:
“New Year’s Eve
Two sisters side by side,
benched at the gleaming fin
of the living room’s out-of-tune baby grand,
work out a mash-up, Adele’s ‘Hello’
& Kate Bush’s ‘Wuthering Heights,’
Hello, it’s me. . . , Heathcliff, it’s me, it’s Cathy,
voices by turns treble, then cemetery-dusked,
meandering, & hungry”
“Duet” by Lisa Russ Spaar shows the power of tradition and sustaining sisterhood throughout life’s heartbreaks. It brings together both heart and humor to show how these relationships keep us young and provide a safe, nurturing place to return to. “They sing as if still girls,” Spaar writes later in the poem, “As if before love’s scarlet evidence.”
Are the family dynamics of the holidays making everything feel a little more tender? Tap into your feelings this season with our writing prompts for navigating big emotions.
